Hawaiian Shirt Friday

Hawaiian Shirt Friday ENDORSES McCain for President

2008-10-10T15:26:00.002-05:00

This liberal left wing blog has been dead for a year. It is time to get it revived. Perhaps a McCain endorsement will do so.

-- "This blog post is the one we've been waiting for."

Mario Andretti: Meet El Jefe

2007-11-06T14:59:00.000-06:00

This is a picture of one of my favorite people: El Jefe, aka Alfredo. As many of our readers have met Alfredo personally, and many have strong views about him, I thought that perhaps me posting a picture might get some discussion on this blog going. If El Jefe is good enough for Mario Andretti, he is good enough for me.

Jets Lose Again - Colin Hugs Blankey

2007-11-06T14:41:00.000-06:00

Hello EVERYBODY!!! It has been awhile, but I am back, and I am ready to give this blog some life. Are you with me?

What a heck of a game Sunday's Redskins-Jets game was. Colin, our beloved blog leader and friend, must have been so pumped up for most of the game, only to be emotionally destroyed at the end. According to one family member, "Colin probably didn't let go of blankey all night because he was so distraught."

Don't worry Colin, Pennington won't be with the team next year and the Jets may have the first overall pick in next year's draft.

I just wish Colin still played fantasy football. That was one win I could always count on.

Say goodbye to Izzy

2007-10-18T16:52:00.000-05:00

Showing signs of her vigorous recovery in this photo, we have returned Isabella to the Houston SPCA to go up for adoption. We're sad we have to let her go, but very happy that she has gotten so much better in the time that we had her. (beyond some cropping, and color correction, this image was not otherwise altered... well, it was also rotated ninety degrees, but...)

Say hello to Isabella

2007-09-30T10:59:00.001-05:00

Isabella is a five month old, gray Tabby cat that Elizabeth and I are fostering. She may not have all of her legs, but the only thing she is really missing is someone to give her a home and some love. We will have her for about a week more before she is put up for adoption. So, if any of the one to two readers of this blog knows someone in the Greater Houston area who is looking for a sweet kitten that wants nothing more than to cuddle up in your lap and have her ears scratched, here is their best chance!

Just leave a note in the comments and I'll follow up.

Cheaters never win...

2007-07-11T17:10:00.001-05:00

Except for most of the time in college football and presidential elections.

But occasionally, they do get caught and even less frequently in the case of college football, they get punished.*

*Note, actual punishments may vary and, in any event shall never, ever apply to Notre Dame or Ohio State.

Breathing life into the blog

2007-07-05T11:05:00.000-05:00

Fresh from his foray into the complex and ever expanding realm of sartorial litigation, everyone's favorite shyster wanted to pass this story of hope and neighborly goodwill along to all three of this blog's regular readers.

Hitting the highway in the Popemobile...

2007-06-19T16:12:00.000-05:00

This must be a joke.

Guiness brewery to close?

2007-06-18T21:13:00.001-05:00

Gol danged capitalists... jerks

For Roman history buffs...

2007-06-13T13:29:00.000-05:00

Check this out

Oh, and good luck to Canon... For the record, he is the only attorney I've personally known who has had a trial live blogged.

Go get 'em!

Off to Ireland

2007-05-24T05:54:00.000-05:00

Kathleen and I are off to Ireland with our student group! Thank you again Yani!

Be back soon!

Thank you Yani

2007-05-23T10:09:00.000-05:00

Kathleen and I would like to send out a huge thank you to Yani and Patty at Senator Warner's office for all their help on the passports. They would not have gotten to go without their help and it means so much to me that you were willing to give us a hand.

Yani their is a STACKED sandwich in your future for this one!

Illinois gets sweet revenge upon Baylor

2007-05-22T08:28:00.000-05:00

OK, so it's men's tennis but this is about as high stakes as it gets for these schools these days....

The Fatman's aquarium

2007-05-15T12:19:00.000-05:00

Awesome

If this blog is about anything,

2007-05-06T19:33:00.000-05:00

it's about bugs in your ear

What the heck? We can post on the blog again?

2007-05-04T18:15:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the heads-up Colin...

But seriously, it's about time to get back to some hard core intermittent posting.

Haiku - Pants, Millions or Blankey

2007-04-26T10:02:00.000-05:00

65 million?
A pair of pants? or Colin's
blankey? What a choice!

The Culture of Hypocrisy

2007-03-01T10:32:00.000-06:00

After campaigning for years that the 109th Congress under the Republican leadership was the most corrupt in the history of America, House Democrats continue to abide by the mantra "Do as I say, not as I do."

First, Speaker Pelosi, signaled that she would make Willam Jefferson (yes, the same Mr. Jefferson who is under a federal bribery investigations and who had $90,000 in cash in his freezer) Chairman of the House Intel Committee. Fortunately, she backed down. Now, she wants to put him on the Homeland Security Committee. HOLY COW. Apparently, this was all to be done under the cover of night. But, Republicans called BS and demanded a vote on the matter. Now that the Democrats have to be put on the Record on this issue, what will they do? Vote for Mr. Jefferson to be on a key security committee or back down?

One thing is for sure: In 2008, we have to stop the culture of hypocrisy.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/28/AR2007022801945.html

NEWSFLASH!

2007-02-24T08:45:00.000-06:00

The lottery offers bad odds, really bad odds of winning a prize.

I fear the Republic of Texas just might not survive such a scandalous revelation...

In other news, I see that the Texas Mega Millions Jackpot is up to $216 Million. Time to go buy a ticket!

Do any of our three readers remember who was the person who first said that the lottery was a tax on people who couldn't do math?

The Native Americans' problems have all been miraculously solved

2007-02-16T14:28:00.000-06:00

and not a moment too soon...

Yup, in one fell swoop, alcoholism, unemployment, lack or economic opportunity... all these problems and more instantaneously disappeared after the University of Illinois Board of Trustees removed Chef Illiniwek as the symbol of the University of Illinois under pressure from the NCAA.

In other news, the NCAA still has absolutely no problem with the Florida State Seminole riding around on a horse, chucking spears....

We all love pranks...

2007-02-08T14:26:00.000-06:00

Here's one to play on telemarketers. Incredibly funny.

Ode to Blankey

2007-02-06T10:49:00.000-06:00

Colin loves Blankey
Three decades hence but still warm
Makes a good turbin

Raku Haiku

2007-02-05T13:47:00.000-06:00

Raku, I love thee.
Chinese Bistro in Dupont.
"Pork Juicy Buns?" Please.

Oklahomans Sweep Beauty Awards

2007-02-02T09:59:00.000-06:00

What a week for Oklahoma!!!

First, Oklahoma resident Lauren Nelson continued the dominance of the state at the Miss America pageant. With the victory, Oklahoma has now won two Miss America pageants in a row.

But, more importantly, Oklahoma native Christopher Manning, was recently selected as Mr. U Club - Man of the Year - for the prestigious Washington, DC University Club. For those of you who are ignorant about the U-Club, here is a tidbit about this social bastion, taken from its website. "Elegance and history pervade the Club's atmosphere, typified by the fine oak paneling of the lobby, its Ionic columns, and expansive ceilings. To the left is a portrait of William Howard Taft, the Club's founding president in 1904." With Mr. Manning's election as Man of the Year, it is hoped that his portrait will now be found to the left of Mr. Taft's.

With these achievements, what more could the state of Oklahoma ask for? An Inhofe or Coburn successful campaign for President?

RIP, Molly Ivins

2007-01-31T19:18:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the commentaries...

She was one of the people who gave me hope moving to Texas.

Thank you Warner

2007-01-31T09:20:00.000-06:00

I would like to thank Sen. John Warner and the rest of the Senate Repubs for standing up to the Bush escalation plan for Iraq. I would have to say that with Jim Webb and Warner VA has a very strong delegation. Too bad most of their staff spends time looking for STACKED sandwiches.

Anybody Out There?

2007-01-30T14:28:00.000-06:00

Does anybody read this blog anymore? Canon? Colin? Tim? Mom? Anybody?

What do you call this? An OxyObaman?

2007-01-25T15:24:00.000-06:00

This is the report, verbatim, from today's National Journal.

"Health. Every American should have healthcare coverage within six years, Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., said today, the Associated Press reported. "The time has come for universal health care in America,"

Question - If the time has come, why do you we have to wait six years? Sounds like an OxyObaman to me.

The Two Americas of John Edwards

2007-01-19T11:13:00.000-06:00

Remember the 2004 campaign when then Senator John Edwards repeatedly talked about how there are two Americas - rich and poor. And, then he talked about how he was going to help the poor. While I don't support leaders in America trying to divide us, I had admired Mr. Edwards passion to help those less fortunate.

Well, that was then - you know - before he Mr. Edwards had a $5.2 million home to sell here in Washington, D.C. Now, I guess it is ok for rich people to profit a tidy sum from the sale of the house and make those profits from individuals who are the focus of legal complaints from the same labor unions Edwards courts. Robbing the rich to pay the poor is one thing. But, being rich, befriending the poor, going to bed with the rich, and then pocketing it all for personal gain is another story.

Mr. Edwards - perhaps we shouldn't talk about two America's anymore, but rather, two faces.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/18/AR2007011802077.html

Legal Fees: How to get a great attorney at a great cost

2007-01-12T12:55:00.000-06:00

Have you ever needed legal work done but been discouraged by the cost? Fortunately, all of us now have a resource we can use. All of our readers deserve first-class representation at an affordable cost. Now, these two goals aren't mutally exclusive anymore. I've used this firm for services before and found them to be extremely competent. I give them my highest recommendation - 4 GYROS with special sauce.
www.manning-sossamon.com

Retirement: How Much to Save

2007-01-12T12:50:00.000-06:00

Ever wonder if you are on the right track in retirement savings? Well, here is an excellent article to help you answer that question. What better time of year than now to increase your contributions to your 401k and/or your IRAs. While it would be wrong to think that Social Security won't be there for our readers, it certainly won't be enough to retire on.

http://money.cnn.com/2007/01/08/pf/expert/expert.moneymag/index.htm

Gas Prices

2007-01-12T12:37:00.000-06:00

Ever wonder why gas prices go up so quickly when the costs of crude oil increases but when the cost of oil decreases gas prices seem to take a while to go down? Such a phenomena often makes me mad. This has particularly been the case these last two weeks when crude oil prices have dropped significantly but the price at the pump has not. Here is an interesting article explaining why this occurs.

http://money.cnn.com/2007/01/12/news/economy/gas_prices/index.htm?cnn=yes

If you ask me, it all boils down to two words: Greedy Bastards!

If you want to stick it to the man and get cheapest gas is in the Washington, D.C. area, please email C.S. Manning, who tracks these things in the area.

Ode de Toilet to a DC U-Club Man.

2007-01-09T13:07:00.000-06:00

He eats M.S.G.
Then tries to run a 10K
Squirt. He's buttlemic.

Ode To F'ing Stacked Sammies

2007-01-08T17:05:00.000-06:00

Yanni wants it stacked
Like THIS f'ing much sliced beef
Yanni sweats meat juice.

First Week NFL Playoffs Wrapup.

2007-01-07T15:11:00.000-06:00

The Redskins, 5-11, did not qualify. That is all.

Update: See here for more details.

Ode to Pelosi

2007-01-04T16:40:00.000-06:00

Pelosi sworn in
The House of Reps now has bush
But Bush is House-less

Culture of Corruption

2007-01-04T10:48:00.000-06:00

Roll Call reports today that Rep. William Jefferson (D-La) is at it again. You may remember him from the allegations that he accepted bribes and subsequently federal agents found $90,000 cash in his home freezer. Now, according to Roll Call, he sent out a letter on his official Congressional stationery asking colleagues to donate money to help him retire his campaign debt. Too bad it violates House ethics rules to use taxpayer resources to raise campaign money.

Any thoughts from our Democrat readers on what should be done here?

Another Promise Made and Broken

2007-01-02T13:38:00.000-06:00

It looks like the Democrats are starting a distubring trend: They are breaking campaign promise after campaign promise.

Here's another one. After telling America that they will run Washington differently, in a more bipartisan tone, they announce on New Years day that they intend to totally cut out Republicans. Here is an article from the Washington Post providing the details:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/01/AR2007010100784.html

Come on Democrats - even most Americans keep their New Years resolutions longer than a single day. We deserve better!

Thought for the day (or week)

2006-12-23T09:42:00.000-06:00

Via Pharyngula

Don't believe anything. Regard things on a scale of probabilities.

The things that seem most absurd, put under 'Low Probability', and the things that seem most plausible, you put under 'High Probability'.

Never believe anything. Once you believe anything, you stop thinking about it. The more things you believe, the less mental activity. If you believe something, and have an opinion on every subject, then your brain activity stops entirely, which is clinically considered a sign of death, nowadays in medical practice. So put things on a scale of probability, and never believe or disbelieve anything entirely.

-Robert A. Wilson (interview with "innerview")

Celebrity Death Match: The Donald versus The Pig

2006-12-23T08:28:00.000-06:00

This whole flap between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell is pretty fun to watch. In my view, Trump seems to be getting the best of the loud mouthed O'Donnell by far.

Here is a link of the most recent public arguments. OH SNAP!!!! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16304661/

Canon Haiku Part III

Canon likes chicken
Peruvian style. Choppy
Chop, chop. Muy good. MMMM!

Miss Universe - You're NOT Fired and a Haiku Part Two

2006-12-19T11:46:00.000-06:00

Yes, it is true that, today, Donald Trump chose not to fire Miss Universe for her many transgressions, including underage drinking.

How fortunate we are in America to have an alternative to look up to. Without Miss America 2006, an Oklahoma University grad, I'm afraid that we in the United States would be lost without a role model. Here is more info on Miss America (formerly Miss Oklahoma): http://missamerica.org/competition-info/national-contestants.asp?state=Oklahoma&year=2006&contestantName=&GO=GO%21

This site will also give you a good preview of the 2007 contestants. I, for one, am for Miss. Virginia. Here is more info on her: http://missamerica.org/competition-info/national-contestants.asp?year=2007&state=Virginia I note that her platform is "behaving respectfully and valuing others." Perhaps we all, Mr. Canon, could take a lesson from Ms. Virginia.

Value Virginia
Not all good is in DC
Real friends in VA.

Yani Haiku II

2006-12-18T17:51:00.000-06:00

Yan hates public thrones
Hey, look out for the ass clams!
TP lines the seat.

Canon Haiku

2006-12-18T17:34:00.000-06:00

Canon loves cuff-links
He wears them to the U-Club
Be my friend for dues.

Yani Haiku

2006-12-17T20:21:00.000-06:00

Yan loves taking baths
He plays with rubber ducky
The bubbles tickle.

The Death Penalty

2006-12-17T17:15:00.000-06:00

Is it just too barbaric - ie. cruel and unusual punishment or is it not harsh enough for those who commit the most heinous crimes? Either side you take, the issue isn't going away soon. Thoughts?

NOTE: This is a legit attempt to bring this blog back to life, in light of the fact that the poetry idea is failing miserably.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20061215/D8M1I2U80.html

Ya gonna eat that deformed deer?

2006-12-15T10:04:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes I will.

Bi-partisan bastardry

2006-12-10T10:04:00.000-06:00

Not to take away from the poetry slam that this blog is currently evolving into, but...

This is the kind of crap that gives fodder to both right wing and left wing critics of government.

In a way, the predicament is almost beautiful in how it clearly illustrates the manipulation of out-dated New Deal regulations by big business and how conservative (ostensibly libertarian) politicians and progressive (ostensibly populist) politicians are co-opted by those businesses.

I would venture to guess that most readers of this blog (whomever they might still be) have not ever wondered how the price of milk was set in this country. Well, now you know. I wish this were the only instance of big business paying big bucks to so-called free market conservatives to distort the market, and I wish this were the only instance of big business paying so-called progressive liberals to subvert regulations in service of higher profits, but it just isn't so.

The Bathroom Poet, "Crapismo"

2006-12-09T09:27:00.000-06:00

"Here I sit
All Broken-hearted
Needing to Shit
But I only Farted"

-- The Bathroom Poet, Crapismo.

OU haiku for all poetry haters

2006-12-06T21:29:00.000-06:00

Sooners are superb
Longhorns can't even shit right
VT gobbles cock.

Is this how Yani orders a Gyros?

2006-11-30T12:18:00.000-06:00

Freestylin

Promise Made, Promise on the Way to Being Broken

2006-11-30T12:07:00.000-06:00

There were many talking points that Democrat candidates used this past year to help them win election. One, that we repeatedly heard, is that they were going to enact all of the recommendations from the prestigious 9/11 Commission. Well, according the Washington Post, promise made, promise broken. As the Dems are now learning, sometimes, it is much easier to sit back and complain all the time than actually having to govern.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/29/AR2006112901317.html

Deck the cats with boughs of holly

2006-11-27T19:39:00.000-06:00

This picture was not posed.... and, if you have ever owned a kitten, you know I'm not making that up.

The utter humiliation of a noted author, screenwriter, historian and political commentator...

2006-11-21T17:00:00.000-06:00

This video is of a rap the famed Ali-G made Gore Vidal perform following his interview of him which is here.

I cry everytime I watch it. SO funny.

How quickly the tables turn

2006-11-17T22:17:00.000-06:00

Check out the progession of the blog. Those not in power criticize and disparage. Those in power are smuggly dismissive. I love humanity.

Do you Want a Judge, who has been Impeached on Bribery Charges, Chairing the House Intelligence Committee?

2006-11-16T18:03:00.000-06:00

Thank Nancy Pelosi for this one. Per her orders, this guy is about to be the new Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. OY VEY!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcee_Hastings

Watch your Wallet. Tax and Spend on the Way?

2006-11-15T16:09:00.000-06:00

I was surprised to see the majority-leader elect in the Senate - just about a week after the elections - promising to expand entitlement programs and raise taxes.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/11/14/AR2006111400637.html

Sometimes people complain about all of the warning labels you see,

2006-11-09T17:27:00.000-06:00

when they find out I'm an attorney. I think, in the future, rather than explain how products liability law works, I will tell them about this person. I can only imagine having to write this warning label:

Use caution when using this product near or inside orifices...

Over???

2006-11-08T20:23:00.000-06:00

Yup...

Over???

2006-11-08T11:05:00.000-06:00

Was it over when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL NO!!!

A New Low For The Blog

2006-11-03T22:14:00.000-06:00

See this video. It combines almost all elements of sophomoric humor. Make sure you watch the whole thing.

Limbaugh versus Kerry

2006-11-03T09:04:00.000-06:00

In my view, statements by both men were offensive and in very, very poor taste. The statements of both undoubtedly hurt the politcal parties of both men. Was Limbaugh's statement or Kerry's worse?

Say NO to Negativity

2006-11-03T08:46:00.000-06:00

I know that politics, like sports, can be a passionate thing for people. But, unlike sports - politics really does have very real consequences in peoples' lives. Republicans versus Democrats this election isn't the same thing as Texas vs. Oklahoma. A football game's outcome truly matters little in the grand scheme of things - which is hard for me to say because I am a HUGE lover of sports. In politics, though, the outcomes of elections matter. Who wins this election could determine, quite frankly, the stability in the Middle East, and America's ability to combat terrorism, for generations.

The stakes are enormous, and for this reason alone, politics shouldn't be treated as a game. No party, no individual is correct 100% of the time. Yet, regretably, people choose sides and blindly support their party like a sports team - even if another candidate is better for America.

Moreover, politics is more and more becoming a race about negativity. I hardly believe that anyone running for office on a major party ticket wants to take homes away for seniors; wants to increase college tuition for hard working Americans; wants to give "giveaways" to drug companies and big oil and gas; or wants to take more and more money from the American people in the form of significantly higher taxes.

In light of these points, I ask all to please consider the following:

(1) Don't treat politics as a game. Cut through the B.S. and support the best person. Sometimes this will be a Democrat. Other times Republicans. Other times a 3rd party candidate. Even the "liberal" Washington Post has endorsed a few Republicans this time around (Bob Erlich; Tom Davis; Frank Wolf to go along with their Democrat endorsements (Jim Webb; Jim Moran; etc..).

(2) As a blog, let's not stoop to the level of many of the candidates. Let's be for a candidate without having to morally and personally question another candidate.

Thank you for your consideration.

Blog Endorses Jim Webb for U.S. Senate from VA.

2006-10-29T06:14:00.002-06:00

This blog and its founder Strongly endorses James H. "Jim" Webb for the U.S. Senate seat from the Commonwealth of Virginia.

In government, Jim served in the U.S. Congress as counsel to the House Committee on Veterans Affairs from l977 to l98l, becoming the first Vietnam veteran to serve as a full committee counsel in the Congress. In 1982 he first proposed, then led the fight for, including an African American soldier in the memorial statue that now graces the Vietnam Veterans memorial on the National Mall. In 1984 he was appointed the inaugural Assistant Secretary of Defense for Reserve Affairs, where he traveled extensively in, and worked closely with, our NATO allies. As the Assistant Secretary he directed considerable research and analysis of the U.S. military's mobilization capabilities. In 1987 he became the first Naval Academy graduate in history to serve in the military and later be appointed Secretary of the Navy. He resigned as Naval Secretary in 1988 after refusing to agree to a reduction of the Navy's force structure during congressionally-mandated budget cutting.

Among Jim's many other awards for community service and professional excellence are the Department of Defense Distinguished Public Service Medal, the Medal of Honor Society's Patriot Award, the American Legion National Commander's Public Service Award, the VFW's Media Service Award, the Marine Corps League's Military Order of the Iron Mike Award, the John Russell Leader-ship Award, and the Robert L. Denig Distinguished Service Award. He was a Fall 1992 Fellow at Harvard's Institute of Politics.

I know that this blog does not often endores former Republicans but in this case the need to remove a racist, anti-semtic, confederate flag collecting oaf who only got his job because his daddy used to coach the redskins we found it important to make this stand. I know that there may be some confusion b/c one rouge member of the blog staff made it appear as if we endorsed both Macaca Allen and Joe "Bush's favorite Republican" Liberman that is why we at the staff of Hawaiian Shirt Friday felt it necessary to make this clarification.

If you would like to contribute money to Jim's campaign here is the site: webbforsenate.com

If you want to give money to progressive candidates go to actblue.com

I'll be darned, I agree with George Will again...

2006-10-25T15:18:00.000-05:00

That's never a good sign. It must be b/c of my lack of an independent mind... (btw, Yanni, you may have the power to post, but I have the power to Shit-can. Something to think about while you're insulting the other bloggers...).

Anyway, I think Will is on the money here when he talks about the absurdity of treating college sports as though they are not-for -profit... Not that I expect that to change in my lifetime.

Another Bipartisan Endorsement - GEORGE ALLEN

2006-10-24T18:05:00.000-05:00

So far this year, the independent-minded part of this blog has endorsed a Democrat and an Independent. Now, it is time to endorse a Republican, Senator George Allen from Virginia, for reelection to the United States Senate.

The first endorsement was Democrat Bill Halter for Lt. Governor of Arkansas. He is an indepent minded middle of the road Democrat who I've known for a few years now. This guy is top-notch and deserves your support. www.halterforarkansas.com Halter is ahead in the poll and looks like he is headed to victory.

Next, part of this blog endorsed an independent thinker that a Manning brother, Canon Manning, volunteered for: Joe Lieberman, Indepedent. After a tough primary, Lieberman has regained his footing and now seems to be a lock for reelection. America needs to work to ensure that statesman are rewarded, not punished when they have the courage to stand up for what is right, regardless of the partisans. If you want to contribute to his campaign, see previous posts.

Now, part of this blog would like to endorse a Republican - Senator George Allen. George Allen has served as a member of the General Assembly in Virginia; as a member of the House of Representatives; as Governor of Virginia; and for the last six years as the junior Senator from Virginia. From fighting for more money for historically black colleges and universities to fighting to make sure that more and more Americans get to keep more of their hard-earned tax dollars, George Allen understands Virginia. While, without question, he has made some startling gaffes during this campaign, these incidents don't completely diminish years of public service and the strong record of achievement he has had for all Virginians in elected office. For these reasons, we say GEORGE ALLEN for Senate. He has earned the vote of Virginians for another six years. (By the way, in newest poll out today, he is up 4 over his opponent). To contribute to this winning campaign, please visit: www.georgeallen.com

Redskins Football STINKS

2006-10-23T15:06:00.000-05:00

Since Colin gave me posting rights on this blog, I have predicted many things. While most, if not all, look to be true, one prediction has been a TOTAL disaster. That is - my prediction of the Redskins winning the Super Bowl was a huge mistake.

After 7 games, the Skins are 2-5. I have seen 99% of all Redskins games dating back to 1991. And, let me tell you, I haven't seen a worse Redskins team since the Norv Turner years. Yes, that is correct, even the ole Ball Coach, Steve Spurrier, had Skins teams that looked better than the 2006 Washington Redskins. The quarterback is old and only throws screens and dump-offs. The offensive coordinator (Al Saunders) stinks. The offensive blocking is terrible. The defense is riddled with injuries. And, worst of all, the personnel moves we have made in the off-season have been terrible, including:

1) Letting Ryan Clark - safety - leave to Pittsburgh so we could sign Adam Archuleta. Clark was the glue of the defense and a solid pass defender. Archuleta gets beat every week, big-time.

2) Warrick Holdman - we let go of LaVar Arrington and we drafted Rocky McIntosh to replace him at outside linebacker. But, apparently Rocky isn't good enough. So, we start Warrick Holdman, who misses basically every tackle he can.

3) Antonio Pierce - two years ago, we let Pierce go to the Giants as a free-agent. He is one of the best middle linebackers in the league and we developed him. Now, we have Lamar Marshall who can't cover anybody. Middle Linebackers typically lead the team in tackles. Marshall doesn't lead the skins, and he isn't even in the top 3.

4) Mike Rumf and Kenny Wright - after last season, we let our third corner, Walt Harris sign elsewhere. Harris wasn't great, but he was a very solid third corner and could step in and spot start. We let him go and signed Kenny Wright and traded for Mike Rumf. Now, teams pass on us at will. In the NFL, you need 3 solid cornerbacks. We have 1 - Shawn Springs, who is injured.

I could go on and on and on with this diabtribe. But, I'd only make myself more mad.

Bottom Line: Gibbs is still a god to me, but I'm very upset with god these days. I pray that he makes the following changes which would help our team get back on track:

1) Bench Brunell. The season isn't over just yet. Sure you have 5 losses. But 10-6 or 9-7 could win the division or get you a wildcard birth. Your best bet is Todd Collins at QB. He knows the offensive system having played it in KC whereas Brunell can't grasp the ridiculous 700 page playbook. Once you lose 8-9 games, then go with the youngster, Jason Campbell. But, in the meantime, Collins gives you the best chance to win. I know Collins is no Manning brother, but he is the best chance we have right now.

2) Simplify the playbook and play Redskins football. Who needs 700 pages of plays? Have 10 plays, two of which are run up the gut to the right and run up the gut to the left. The Skins are built for power football. Al Saunders, the coordinator, is a finesse coach. Portis shouldn't be running around the edges. He should be running right up the middle. And, the Skins should be running the ball 40 times a game. When we don't run, we need to throw the ball downfield. For some reason, this season, all of our plays are either runs around the edges or 4 yard passes or screens. This allows the defense to bunch up on the line and clog the running game. We need to spread out the offense a bit. Run the ball a ton. When you pass - screens or dump offs should only occur occassionally not with regularity.

3) Start Rocky McIntosh. He is your top draft pick this year. Get him on the field. Holdman is a fine special teams player and a nice sub once in a while, but his starting days are behind him. Benching him would also send a message to other veterans on the team to pick up the slack or you'll find your tail on the bench.

I could go on and on, but I've said enough. I'd be glad to field any questions or respond to any posts.

Oklahoma!

2006-10-19T22:25:00.000-05:00

Via Kos...

Oh yeah, this is good stuff

Sore Losermont?

2006-10-18T13:07:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is true - to the delight of this blog(ger) it looks like Lieberman is going to defeat Lamont. This will be a victory for independent thought everywhere and a rejection of those elements of society who support the party-line radicalization of government.

Lieberman is now up at least 8 points in the polls and Lamont is being forced to spend more of his own money as campaign donations have dried up.

For more, please see:

http://www.wjla.com/headlines/1006/368113.html

If you are interested in donating to the Lieberman campaign, see previous postings on this blog to determine how to do that.

Employee of the Month - 2 YEEROS

2006-10-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

A true and helpful maxim to live life by is as fellows: Better Living through Lower Expectations. With this maxim in mind, I paid full price to see Employee of the Month, starring Jessica Simpson.

Simpson looks as good in the movie - much better than the time I saw her in person on Capitol Hill where she undressed me with her eyes and made me feel uncomfortable. But, despite her good looks, her acting is terrible. Nevertheless, I did find the movie amusing. I laughed out loud several times. In fact, the 3 other people I saw the movie with all thoroughly enjoyed it.

Now, by no means, is this movie going to be discussed as part of the Manning family Oscar awards competition - but if you are looking for a fun movie that will make you laugh, this is an enjoyable one. It was worth the price of admission for sure. And, you'll even get more of a chuckle from it, if, like me, you visit Costco right after seeing the film.

For these reasons, and more, I give this movie, an average rating of 2 YEEROS.

An Ode To Subway

2006-10-15T20:40:00.000-05:00

Evidently, there are some who like Subway sandwiches--so much, in fact, that they write songs about them.

Click here for a particularly poignant one.

The war against religion continues unabated...

2006-10-08T10:50:00.000-05:00

Won't someone please help the poor repressed overwhelming majority of people who are religious in this country?

Oh wait, they already did... numerous times... and with increasing frequency recently... Not that you'd know it from the demagoguery you see about this bullshit from the religious right wing nutcases who are runningthis country towards Armageddon because they think that's what Jesus wants....

To quote the great Frank Zappa, "Tax the churches. Tax the businesses owned by the churches."

Update: PZ Meyers concurs.

Since we've already crossed the line of people posting pics of their dog on the site...

2006-10-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

Here are my new kitties courtesy of the Houston SPCA. Their brothers, about 8 weeks old, very sweet, and are currently named Ben and Jerry by the shelter. E thinks that's cute but we will probably rename them to someothing of our own choosing. She does not like my suggestion, which is much more realistic, of naming them 'Cat' and 'Hey Cat'.

The game of games...

2006-10-03T18:42:00.000-05:00

...is here. OU vs. Texas. Good vs. Evil. Rednecks vs. um Rednecks.

Who is going to win?

Ya know how they said we're not supposed to draw parallels between Iraq and Vietnam?

2006-09-30T21:08:00.000-05:00

well, ummm, shouldn't they have let us know they were listening to Kissinger telling 'em what to do?

It's tempting to trot out the old line about those who fail to learn the lessons of history, but in our current predicament we are confronted with homocidal jokers who refuse to even acknowledge history...

Flames? Downward Spiral?

2006-09-29T22:35:00.000-05:00

Watch him augur in...

Now Allen has pissed off the Confederates...

2006-09-29T09:26:00.000-05:00

That guy just can't seem to make anyone happy...

TN - Senate

2006-09-28T09:56:00.000-05:00

Another safe seat for the Repubs going down in flames. As Yani pointed out the dems need to win 6 seats. He conceded 4 seats which left 2 to pick up. As I posted earlier VA is trending and Macaca Allen is basically a racist which does not play well in 2006 so this blog is predicting it as a Dem take over. The other seat I said to look at is TN. Look like that race is turning as well. Congressional Quarterly is change the race to "no clear favorite" which means it has moved from solid repub to toss-up. That is looking more and more like 6 seats. Don't forget the MO is still out there...

Lamont for Ct - Senate!!

Bugs in Your Ear?

2006-09-28T08:25:00.000-05:00

It looks like Colin isn't the only person this has ever happened to. Colin, at least the bugs weren't EATING your ear like they were with this guy!

As some of us may know, Colin awoke one summer morning in 1995 to the delightful sound/sensation of a bug walking around in his ear. Colin freaked out, Bill (without his contacts in) tried to look into Colin's ear to see if he could actually see the bug, everyone else laughed.

Was a great morning I remember well.

I may not live in VA...

2006-09-28T06:52:00.000-05:00

But the VA-Senate race sure doesn't look like the sure thing that Yanni seems to think it is.

WOW!!

2006-09-26T17:08:00.000-05:00

All I can say is watch it.... All 10 minutes... Exactly what we all want to say but don't have a national media spotlight to say it.

I give you the Edward R. Murrow of the 21st century... Keith Olberman

PA - Senate

2006-09-26T11:15:00.000-05:00

Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pennsylvania, trails Democratic State Treasurer Robert Casey Jr. by 12 percentage points, in a new Quinnipiac University poll.

Casey leads Santorum 51 percent to 39 percent with 4 percent backing Green Party nominee Carl Romanelli, in the poll released Tuesday morning by the university. Five percent of the poll's respondents were undecided.

Another poll recently conducted by Temple University for the Philadelphia Inquirer showed Casey leading Santorum 49 percent to 39 percent with 8 percent saying they were undecided and Romanelli garnering 3 percent.

From CNN

More Repub in trouble

NIE

2006-09-26T09:56:00.000-05:00

As if this was something we already did not know the National Intelligence Estimate states that the Iraq war has created more terrorist and more radicals. "The estimate concludes that the radical Islamic movement has expanded from a core of Qaeda operatives and affiliated groups to include a new class of 'self-generating' cells inspired by al Qaeda's leadership but without any direct connection to Osama bin Laden or his top lieutenants," the newspaper [NYTimes] said.

The Dems have started to focus on this and will use it to drive home the point that the Iraq War was and is a distraction and that the Republican policy is a total failure that most of the country is knows that it is.

Do what is right... vote for a new direction in Nov.

Dems win in Nov

2006-09-26T07:44:00.001-05:00

So lets assume that Yanni is correct about the 4 senate seats. That leaves only 2 pick up for the dems. There are at least three seats out there to be picked up Missouri, Tenn and VA. Lets look at them one by one.

Tenn - The race is Corker v. Harold Ford Jr. In the latest poll Ford is up six point on Corker. Corker has been hammered for his tenure as Mayor of Chattanooga. Corker has also been accused of thwarting efforts to improve the 911 emergency system while he was mayor of Chattanooga. Unanswered 911 emergency calls rose from 8.8%, the rate when Corker took office in 2001, to 16.9% in 2005, the year when he left. According to Jimmie Dotson, the former police chief of Chattanooga, Corker repeatedly denied requests to fund more communications officers for the 911 system. Ford is a conservative Dem and this Blog predicts a tough victory but a victory none the less.

Missouri - This is a close race but the state as a whole has been trending purple along with Kansas. In the end this is a race that is too close to call so I will give it to the Repubs.

VA - The most fun race in the country right now. On one side you have a former Regan repub turned Dem in Webb on the other you have a Bona Fide racist in Allen. Lets start with the Macaca incident where he called a VA citizen a racist term, basically called him a monkey, while on tape. Then it has been hanging with the CCC, denying he is jewish, the confederate flag collection, droping the N-bomb... in fact there is just too many to count. For a brief up date go here. so in the end I think that Allen's racist past and present has finally caught up to him and sunk not only the Senate race but also his presidential ambitions. So this seat goes blue in a red state.

As for NJ Kean can only run on dads name for so long and I think Menendez pulls out a close one.

I would also like to make one correction form the previous posts.

This blog supports, reccomends and strongly endorses Ned Lamont for CT. Senate. Keeping this seat out of Loserman's hand will be like picking up another Dem seat!

Only 42 days till Victory!

Dems win in Nov

2006-09-26T07:44:00.000-05:00

Things Looking Up for Republicans

2006-09-25T12:25:00.000-05:00

With only a month and a half left before the mid-term elections things are looking better for Republicans. While many bloggers out there are predicting a loss of the House and Senate for the Republicans, this blog pointed out months ago that the Senate would likely stay Republican. Now, with a month and a half before the election, that looks like an accurrate prediction.

Again, the Senate is now 55 Republicans; 44 Democrats; and 1 Independent who votes with the Democrats. In order to take control of the Senate, the Democrats need to pick up 6 seats. Fortunately, for America, this still seems highly improbable.

The Democrats are now favored in a few races where Republicans now hold Senate seats. (1) Ohio - Republican Mike DeWine is in a close race with Sherrod Brown. DeWine is closing the gap and is now down 2 points. (2) Rick Santorum - Republican Senator from Pennsylvania is still down to Casey. However, the gap is closing quickly. (3) Lincoln Chafee - Republican from Rhode Island. He is down in the polls. (4) Conrad Burns Republican from Montana is down 7 against his Democrat opponent.

If the Democrats win all 4 seats - they still won't have enough. The other close races seem to be leaning heavily towards the Republicans, including: George Allen in Virginia; Larry Corker in Tennessee; and Jim Talent in Missouri. On top of all this - the Republicans have an OUTSTANDING chance to pick up New Jersey where Senator Bob Menendez has faced ethical challenges that have been highlighted in his race against Tom Kean.

So, this blog stands by its prediction made previously. The Republicans will lose seats in the Senate but not enough to lose control of the Senate.

In addition, in a show of bipartisanship, part of this blog would like to formally endorse Joe Lieberman for Senate in Connecticut. He is a true statesman. We need more moderate people like him in public office. John F. Kennedy once wrote a book called, "Profiles in Courage." Lieberman is a modern day profile in courage. GO JOE GO.

If you'd like to give money to the Lieberman campaign, please click on the following link:

http://www.joe2006.com/

The passer rating formula sucks.

2006-09-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

Or so the newspaper tells me.

Also, not only are the Skins 0-2, both of my fantasy teams are as well.

Tomorrow I will trek down to Reliant Stadium to see my first pro game here in Houston (third pro game overall) and, hopefully, watch the Skins get back on track.

In other news, if anyone wants to buy a greenhouse or greenhouse accessories, I'm the guy to call!

Dog Person or Dog Owner?

2006-09-18T14:37:00.000-05:00

So, like Martha said, Colin and I are now the proud owners of EFM. She's pretty great and I have to admit I am constantly amazed that she is merely 7 weeks old and already has a grasp on daily life at the Manning house.

I came from the most anti-dog family you could possibley imagine. We had no desire to be around them, laughed at the expense of all holiday cards with dogs included in the family picture, and truly thought we were sticking up for humanity by avoiding them. Our attitude is/was that we'd rather focus on people; spending time and money on animals was silly.

Life without a dog after marrying Colin meant depriving him of something that he thought there should always be... a dog in the family. So, I caved. It's definitely been a challenge - we talk way too much about #1 and #2 and can't sit through a TV show for fear there will be a mess awaiting us in the other room. But, Ella is forgiving of our downfalls, loves us unconditionally, and loves a good tummy scratch. Not sure where I fall in the spectrum of dog owner vs. dog person, but it's an adventure nonetheless.

http://dogs.about.com/cs/fungames/a/evolution.htm

Welcome Ella!

2006-09-15T16:30:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to officially welcome Ella Fitzgerald Manning to our blogger family. She was born on July 28, 2006 which was Rehearsal Dinner night for Colin and Kathleen. It was meant to be!! Colin is loving every minute of her waking up at 4:30 am and having "accidents". Kathleen is adjusting.

Can we hear a few "aaws" out there?

Martha/Mom

Thank you Senate Repubs!!

2006-09-15T12:31:00.000-05:00

I would like to thank the Senate Repubs for opposing the Bu$h admins torture rules. See I can be bipartisan.

Moment of Silence

2006-09-14T06:48:00.000-05:00

One of my heroes has passed away. Ann Richards died yesterday of cancer at 73. Ann was one of the reasons I got involved in politics and I have always found her to be an inspiration. She went to Baylor and was the driving force behind getting Baylor into the Big 12. The year I graduated from Baylor she was there to receive an honorary degree for her work for Baylor, and as I walked across the stage I stepped out of line to shake her hand and tell her what a huge fan of hers I was. I thought I was going to get jumped by Texas State police but she was very gracious and I got away without a fist fight. She broke down walls all over polictics and was truely a remarkable person. She will be greatly missed and I will always be "Another Man for Ann"!

Property Rights??? What Stinking Property Rights

2006-09-13T09:30:00.000-05:00

The Commonwealth of Virginia is fortunate to have a 4 seasons resort known as Massanutten. Whether you want to ski, play golf, visit wineries, swim, hike or visit the new water park - Massanutten has something for everybody.

The fact that this area is so great has caused the mountain's development to grow. There is a sizeable time-share community on the mountain. Then, a sizeable number of individually owned homes that are rented on some weekends exit. Finally, some individuals have chosen to retire or live year-round on the mountain.

Well, even though property values have gone through the roof on the mountain, the year-round residents now want to exclude weekend rentals, claiming that they cause too much noise, traffic and problems in the community. For some reason, (obviously money) they haven't taken on the time-share corporation to exclude time-shares.

To me - this is just crazy. I mean, come on!!! First, you bought a house on a freaking mountain resort!!! Secondly, your property value has gained through the development. And, thirdly, if you want to be absolutely pure, why aren't you taking on the time shares???

A similar analogy would be this: After years of begging for posting rights, Tim and Colin finally gave them to me. Would I, now, legally move to exclude them from posting on this blog?

Where is the outrage?

Remember 9/11

2006-09-11T09:15:00.000-05:00

Would anyone like to share their 9/11 story today?

I was working at Bryan Cave on that wonderfully bright Tuesday morning. I was quietly checking email and preparing for my work day when I received the first of many CNN Breaking News emails indicating that a small plane had hit the World Trade Center. Selfishly, I somewhat ignored the email as I prepared to interview an associate candidate for the firm at 10:00am.

At approximately 9:45am, I heard of the next plane hitting the second World trade tower. At that point, panic began to set in around the office. A terrorist attack was suspected and, being only 2 blocks from the White House (a possible target), many were extremely frightened.

During my interview at 10:00am, our office's alarm bells were sounded and we were evacuated from the building. At this point, everything seemed very surreal. I couldn't really imagine that this was happening and was also a little apprehensive to be on the street so close to the White House. What if the White House got hit? Would debris hit us? Would the plane miss the White House and land in the street? Were there roving bands of terrorists around the city prepared to shoot to kill? No one had any idea what had happened and no one really knew what to expect.

We were soon then ordered back into our building. I ended the interview and allowed the candidate to leave. I immediately checked CNN Breaking News emails: World Trade Center hit; Pentagon hit; National Mall on fire; Car bomb explodes in front of State Department. Rumors were flooding the office: the White House was smoking; there were more planes circling Washington and ready to hit. Some true. Most inexcusable exaggerated rumors.

About 15 minutes later, our office closed and everyone was ordered to go home. The only problem: transportation. Virtually all bridges were closed and the Metro was considered unsafe. I picked up an instant developing camera and headed out to see how I would get home to Crystal City, Virginia--about 2 miles away from my work.

I started on my journey home with Will Olson and Staley Heatly, two other associates at Bryan Cave. There was a bizarre excitement to the whole scene. We obviously knew how terrible the circumstances were but there was a palpable excitement to be involved in such a world altering event.

When we started our trek, the streets were packed with cars and people. The cars were at an utter standstill since the bridges in and out of DC were closed. The people were chaotically scattered about--some crying, some running, some startled, some excited.

We headed down 14th street to cross the Memorial Bridge to Virginia. As many probably know, 14th street runs directly in front of the National Mall and Washington Monument. When I rounded the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue onto 14th street I got my first glimpse of large scale destruction. There was smoke billowing from over the Potomac behind the Washington Monument--this was clearly the smoldering Pentagon.

Will Olson and I trudged on (Staley headed north to his house in Dupont Circle). I don't remember much of the conversation. We were mostly just overanalyzing the situation like any lawyer would do.

When I arrived at the Tidal Basin for our trip over the bridge, my mom called and I had contact with my family for the first time. They knew I would be fine but were, of course, concerned. The cell phone coverage was absymal considering the number of people trying to reach loved ones.

While walking over the bridge I snapped a number of pictures of the Pentagon smoke, the fire. As we approached the Pentagon, we noticed a number of small groups of military personnel communicating with each other with short wave radios. Pretty impressive honestly.

I won't belabor the rest of my day--mostly included getting home, watching the coverage and hopign the worst had ended. Notably, the next morning I awoke to the stench of the smoldering Pentagon which was merely a mile from my apartment. The explosion was so large that there was a haunting red haze in the sky over my apartment for the entire next day.

My experience was one of a spectator and not of a victim. It was certainly defining for me in the sense that I felt unsafe for the first time in my own country. However, this experience was so much more important and profound for so many others. So many's lives were forever changed or extinguished and our world simply is not and probably will not ever be the same.

We started September 12th with the sympathy and support of most of the world. Unfortunately, we now enjoy shrinking support and the perception that we too are war mongers--no different from the 9/11 terrorists.

No matter how we are viewed, all we can hope for is a swift and fair resolution to the current conflicts that are an outgrowth of 9/11. We must try to all do our part to ensure peace but, sadly, I think we have only more destruction in sight.

I hope everyone has a safe 9/11 and takes some time to contemplate how that day affected their life.

"World Trade Center" the Movie: Top of the Class or Just Plain Crass???

2006-09-05T14:26:00.000-05:00

Oliver Stone is the king of reinventing history through movies. Nevertheless, I do have to say that I generally do like his completely fictional movies. While too many Americans watch these loosely based historical films like JFK and use them as their only guide for history - and thus now have an inaccurate sense of history because of Stone - I generally enjoy Stone's fictional take on non-fiction. His films, generally speaking, are entertaining and thought-provoking.

Stone's most recent flick, however - World Trade Center - has given me pause for several reasons.

First, I've been reluctant to see it because I lived through a massive evacuation on 9/11; lived right next door, at the time, to the burning Pentagon; and dealt with many of the 9/11 families in the aftermath. That day is forever etched into my mind, and I don't think I'm quite ready to relive it in a public movie theater.

Secondly, I find it completely reprehensible for millionaire moguls like Stone to be making money from a horrific event in American history that cost so many honest, hard working civilians their lives. Wouldn't it be better - and emulate the sense of American generosity - for the profits of this film to go to help the victims' families of 9/11?

So, this brings me to my question: are the proceeds of the movie going to the victims' families of 9/11? I honestly don't know but would like to know.

If the millionaire media moguls profiteer off of this, it just seems repugnant to me. No one should, in good taste, profit off the horrific events of that day a mere five years after it happened. Sure, I've seen Civil War movies; World War II movies; Vietnam movies, etc... But, those movies came after we've all been able to get some distance from the matter.

In my view, the millionaires who are making movies like World Trade Center should be offering the profits to the victims' families. I wonder if the victims are even getting a penny from Mr. Stone. If you all know something I don't, please offer it here and tell me these victims are being helped by the movie.

One thing is for sure.... I was stunned to read in this weekend's Parade magazine that one of the film's stars - Maggie Gyllenhaal - reportedly said that the U.S. was responsible for the attacks on 9/11. DISGUSTING. She says the US is responsible for all of these deaths. Meanwhile, she is more than happy I'm sure to make money from capitalism and freedom the U.S. stands for and from the hard working American movie-goer who forks over $10 plus for a ticket.

Thoughts anybody?

I love the sound of crickets in the afternoon...

2006-09-04T14:05:00.001-05:00

It sounds like... nothing...

Finally, I can post again...

2006-09-02T16:12:00.000-05:00

I know people have been terribly upset with the lack of posting here lately. Fortunately, the Manning brothers and Yanni stepped up to the plate and filled in while I was unable to post...

In other news, we have more or less moved into our new house and, as part of fulfilling the American dream, today we bought ourselves a home security system.

This we purchased not long after I watched a drug deal go down in front of our beautiful new home a few days ago...

Thank you Katrina!

Posting from an anonymous source on the State of the Union's Government Cafeterias

2006-08-27T09:12:00.000-05:00

The Fleecing of America This week:

I had an experience that really has left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

What I am going to post today will disgust you as a taxpayer. It will make the hair on your arm stand straight up. And, it will either make you want to push for reform or just simply boycott government all-together. What you are about to read is disturbing. VERY DISTURBING.
The day was Tuesday. I was visiting a government owned and operated cafeteria. The name of this cafteria will be kept confidential at this time. This cafeteria, despite the great people that work there and the good food, and the fact that they have a near monopoly in this particular building for breakfast and lunch, has lost money, apparently, for years. I've wondered how this could be the case - now I know.
How do I know this? Because I was recently a victim of false advertising and government inefficiency at its worst.

This particular cafeteria likes to advertise that "all grill items can be made to order." These signs are plastered all over this cafeteria. Well, on Tuesday, I decided to take them up on their well-advertised offer. Typically, this wonderful establishment has a number of pre-cooked burgers and grill sandwiches. The double rueben is one of these grill items. The double rueben is just like a regular rueben; however, it comes with a third piece of bread in the middle. (note: the menu does not offer a regular rueben).

I find the double ruebens at this particular cafeteria to be ABSOLUTELY delicious. But, to be honest, I don't like the third piece of bread in the middle. It is just a little too much bread for me. So, on this particular day, as I approached the grill, I asked the nice man working the grill if I could have a double rueben but without the extra piece of bread. The man politely said "no." He then directed me to the double ruebens that had already been made - probably several hours ago, and said that was my only option when it came to ruebens.

Amazed, I pointed to the sign on his counter that said "all grill items can be made to order." His reply was "that sign does not apply to double ruebens." Obviously, the sign does not exclude ruebens from the list. So, perturbed - I made it clear to him that I was willing to in fact pay for a double rueben - I was willing to pay for a third slice of bread - I just did not in fact want the third slice of bread. He told me that was just not possible.

After proceeding to complain about me to other customers while I watched, he called his manager over. I pointed out the sign to the manager. This high ranking government official then proceeded to tell me "to just buy the sandwich and take the third piece of bread off myself." He then stated, "it is just too difficult to make a rueben with only 2 slices of bread."

HORSE SHIT!!!

Of course, this is preposterous. First, making a rueben with 2 slices of bread is not only easy - it is significantly easier than making one with 3 slices. Secondly, talk about poor customer service. Why should the customer have to remove a piece of unwanted bread? Doing so with a pre-cooked rueben ruins the sandwich. Can you imagine taking off the middle piece of bread on a rueben that has probably been sitting in a pre-cooked cafeteria plate under hot lights for about an hour?

The fact of the matter is this: Shouldn't I be able to actually pay for a double rueben when in fact I want a single rueben? Not only would this save the cafeteria money, it would make for a happy customer. I pay my taxes. When I like a government service, I am even willing to pay more for it. I was willing to pay more for less in this case. The government could have taken the savings from the piece of bread I didn't want and used it for other purposes. Can you imagine the savings if every government owned and operated cafeteria did the same thing? The savings would be incalculable. Imagine how much taxpayers could save if we as a country weren't forced by our government cafeterias to have bread on our sandwiches that we didn't want.

All I ask for is 3 things:

1) When a cafeteria goes to great lengths to advertise something, they should stand by their word.2) If someone is willing to pay for more, but actually wants less, they should be able to get it. For example, if I want a cheeseburger without the bun, I should be able to save the government the cost of the bun.3) A formal apology from management for insulting my intelligence by telling me a rueben is easier to make with 3 slices of bread than 2.

Is this too much to ask?

NOTE: This post might be a continuing series of how government cafeterias fleece taxpayers. Next up, why in the hell can you only get bacon on a sandwich in the cafeteria if you order a B.L.T. or a turkey bacon club???

John Goodman's tour of New Orleans

2006-08-24T16:48:00.000-05:00

Now that the Bush administration has unofficially given up on their Iraq venture/debacle, perhaps they could pay some attention to the major US city that was destroyed on their watch and has yet to be rebuilt or protected from a similar inundation.

Read here for Mr. Goodman's experience.

For what little it's worth, shortly after I moved to New Orleans, I happened to see John Goodman outside his wife's store on Magazine Street. I wouldn't have recognized him except that someone walking in front of me turned around and told me who he was and that the store was owned by his wife.

Oh, and my apologies to Yanni for including a post with links in it. I know that the internet is a confusing enough place as it is. However, advanced internet users often rely on the complicated and challenging process of 'clicking' on 'links' to 'navigate' to other web sites of interest. If all of that is confusing to Yanni, perhaps he could have Senator Stephens (R) explain it to him.

Fantasy Football Revisionist History

2006-08-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

(1) Yanni, I've beaten you 4 out of 5 times we've ever played head to head. Remember the McNabb 8 point debacle? Humiliating for you, I'm sure.

(2) Yanni, not only do I not owe you the money never paid into Colin's league but you owe me $5 for doing the worm in law school in January 1996. With interest, your total due is $8,968.03.

Thank you, sir.

Fantasy Football Conundrum

2006-08-23T15:09:00.000-05:00

For years I have thoroughly enjoyed whipping the Manning brothers in fantasy football. Whether it was a league Colin ran (before he got too stressed out by it that he couldn't do it anymore) or whether it was beating Canon in our law school league or my league - Yannipalooza - I've always enjoyed taking their money in sports knowledge games. The only exception, however, was the year that I won fantasy football money from Colin's league and Canon and Colin never paid me my winnings. But, I digress.

My main reading in posting this blog today is to ask our reader(s) a question. Who should be the first overall pick in fantasy football this year. The way I see it there are 3 choices. All 3 of pros and cons. I'd like to know what our reader(s) think. Here are the options:

1) Ladian Tomlinson - This San Diego running back has been the consensus top choice for years. He typically averages 1300-1400 yards; 18-20 touchdowns and 50 or so receptions for another 400 or so yards. One year, in fact, he had over 100 receptions. He is consistently a stud. This year, however, could be different. 2 running backs outperformed him last year statistically - Shaun Alexander and Larry Johnson. And, now Tomlinson has a new QB in Philip Rivers who has never started an NFL game. This could cause teams to put 8 men in the box and hurt his rushing totals.

2) Shaun Alexander - Seattle running back who had 28 touchdowns last year - an unbelievable fantasy year. There is no way he can match that year again, but he consistently gets 18-20 touchdowns (like Tomlinson). The downside is this: (1) The Madden Curse - Alexander is on the cover of 2007 Madden football. For 5 of the past 6 years the player on the cover has had a VERY disappointing year. The one year this didn't happen, a defensive player (Ray Lewis) was on the cover; and (2) The Super Bowl Runner-Up curse - for something like 6 straight years the super bowl runner up has had a terrible year the following year. Typically the team faces injuries and a losing record. Both of these curses could come to "haunt" Alexander this year.

3) Larry Johnson - Kansas City Running Back. In 9 games as a starter last year, Johnson lit it up and had numbers that most RB's don't get in 16 games. If he could repeat those numbers over a whole season, he could have the best fantasy football numbers in history. The downside???? He really hasn't proven himself over the long hall. Plus, KC lost their stud left tackle and don't have a strong replacement for him. Plus, Dick Vermeil is no longer coach and Al Saunders is no longer KC's offensive coordinator. Instead, Herm Edwards is now the head coach. He has to be in the bottom tier of head coaches in the NFL.

What do you all think? If you had the number one pick overall - which of these three would be your choice?

Subway's Latest Trickery

2006-08-23T13:42:00.000-05:00

Much like Taco Bell serves only about seven different ingredients but incorporates them into zillions of different "tasty" permutations, Subway has begun to do the same thing.

Subway's latest foray into what I call "put-crappy-foods-in-different-combinations-and-see-if-jackholes-like-me-will-eat-it-just-because-it's-new-and-offered-only-for-a-limited-time" is their use of the always versatile "roasted chicken food product" First, it was Chicken Bacon Ranch. Then, it was Tuscan Chicken. Then, it was Bourbon Chicken. Then, it was Buffalo Chicken. Now, it is Cajun Chicken. I have, sadly, tried every one.

Basically, all these concoctions are is the same rubbery, tasteless, roasted chicken food product with different shit put on top. Again, simply an attempt by the FUCKING BASTARDS at Subway to trick us into liking the roasted chicken food product but putting stuff on it that makes it salty and/or ranchy.

Not surprisingly, they don't mention that putting four gallons of ranch on your Cajun Chicken will not make you lose weight like the beloved Jared (pictured above). You'll still be wearing those jeans that are the size of a 1974 Ford pickup.