Thursday, May 26, 2005

Great Moments in Television

Harry Caray singing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' during the seventh inning stretch makes for one of my greatest memories as a sports fan. I was lucky enough to sing along with Harry on the next to last time that he ever belted it out on Ryne Sandberg day in 1997. Harry died shortly before the next season started.

To commemorate Harry, the Cubs, in their infinite wisdom, decided to bring in a number of celebrity guest singers. The results have been mixed but mostly skew towards just bad. However, sometimes the performances have been so bad that they were immensely entertaining. I recall watching Da Coach, who arrived moments before he was to sing and apparently had been running as fast as he could up to the booth, rush through the song in record time without any melody whatsoever. Classic.

On Tuesday I was privileged to see another terrible performance that I will never forget: Jeff Gordon utterly failing to make it through the song. Gordon got off the first few lines and then choked. He didn't remember the words and couldn't sing along. Traditionally, Harry would cut off for a few lines and 'conduct' the crowd with his microphone. That's not what Gordon did. He just stood there, holding the mike to his mouth but not singing or saying anything. At first, I though he might have been drunk or otherwise incapacitated. Cubs fans, who in my opinion have become a little too surly over the last few years, gave Gordon the full booing he richly deserved. Gordon could only stand there and take it. Delicious. Guests always stay during the bottom of the seventh for an interview and Gordon did so as well. He and the announcers had to pretend what just happened hadn't. Luckily for Gordon the bottom of the seventh was mercifully short. However, Gordon appeared to be completely lucid throughout the interview so it would seem to eliminate the possibility that his failure was the result of a stroke or some other catastrophic disablement. No, it was clear that Jeff Gordon, under pressure, in front of around 35,000 people, performing a simple task where the bar was set very low, could not perform. And, when it was clear to him and everyone that was watching him that he was blowing the whole deal, his only response was to shut down and stand there, laughing like a moron. As I said, I will never forget that scene.

So here's to Jeff Gordon: a True American Failure.


Further Reading: Here's Cubs beat writer Paul Sullivan's ChicagoSports.com - take on the event.

1 Comments:

Blogger Colin said...

Don't forget... He called it Wrigley Stadium... A-Hole

10:48 AM  

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